


Just a Bit of a Chaotic Date

by HarleysAStarBoi



Category: Spider-Man (Cartoon 2017)
Genre: Banter, Dates, Established Relationship, Humor, Inappropriate Humor, Innuendo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:35:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25519642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HarleysAStarBoi/pseuds/HarleysAStarBoi
Summary: Gwen, Miles, and Anya decide to follow Peter and Harry on their date and hilarity ensues***Written with @fandomsumthing on Tumblr
Relationships: Anya Sofia Corazon & Miles Morales & Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn/Peter Parker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Just a Bit of a Chaotic Date

**Author's Note:**

> TW: There are characters who are minors making sex jokes, but nothing explicit is ever written
> 
> Anya, Peter, and Harry are 17, Gwen and Miles are 16

"Okay, so you're saying that Harry and Peter are going on a date today?" Anya cleared up.

"Yes! I heard Peter talking about it on the phone- we _have_ to see what happens during that date!" Gwen yelped. 

"I dunno Gwen, isn't that kind of invading their privacy?" Miles asked. 

"Yes, but it'll be worth it. We rarely see Peter and Harry being lovey-dovey." Gwen scoffed. 

"Well, that's because we rarely see Peter and Harry at the same time." Anya deadpanned. 

"That's why we _have_ to see what's going on during that date!" Gwen reasoned. 

"I'll go on one condition. We don't interfere _at all._ " Miles said firmly. 

"Deal!" Gwen squealed happily. 

“We gotta have disguises or something. They’ll stop being all romantic if they see us.” Anya pointed out.

“Don’t you two worry about that, I got this all planned out,” Gwen said, a proud smile spreading across her face.

~

Peter waited outside of the restaurant that he was meeting Harry at. He’d gotten there early because his clock was off, making him think that he was late. He had rushed through getting ready because he wanted to look nice but also causal because they weren’t going to a high-end restaurant or anything. All they had planned was to go out to eat, go to the park, and then go home and have a movie marathon. But still, he wanted to try out something new.

So now he was waiting in the slightly chilly fall air, wearing a black crop top leather jacket with a long lace sleeved red shirt and cuffed jean shorts. He had gotten a few stares from passersby, but none of them insulted him or did anything towards him so he guessed he didn’t have a reason to feel uncomfortable. 

He scrolled through social media for a bit, waiting for Harry to arrive when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see his boyfriend who was flushed red. "Hey, Pete. You look… amazing." He murmured, looking Peter up and down. 

Peter blushed. "Th-thank you. You look good too." 

Harry was wearing a white shirt with a dark blue coat, black pants, and white shoes. He gave Peter an embarrassed smile before grabbing his hand and pulling him along into the restaurant. A tall dark man happily led the couple to a table for two near the window. "What would you two like to drink?" He asked happily. 

"I'll have some iced tea please," Harry ordered with a smile. 

"Do you guys have hot chocolate?" Peter asked. 

The waiter nodded happily. "That we do! I'll be back with your drinks in just a moment." The man said as he handed the two of them menus. 

The boys thanked him in unison, before watching him leave. Harry sighed happily. "It's been too long since we've been on a date. Just the two of us." 

Peter leaned over the table, kissing Harry happily, before saying, "It really has."

The two intertwined their fingers on the table, smiling happily, as the server brought back their drinks. 

The two ordered their food, as Peter immediately took a sip from his, getting a concerned look from Harry. “You’re going to burn your mouth.” He warned.

“Will you kiss it better if I do?” Peter asked, taking another sip. Harry smiled and rubbed his thumb over the top of Peter’s other hand that was still interlocked with his.

“You know it.” Harry pulled his hand away from Peter’s so that he could take a sip of his own drink. They held their conversation while waiting for their food. Harry started to talk about an experiment that he had done and was so passionate about it that Peter couldn’t help but smile and leaned his face into his hand as he talked. How did he get such an amazing boyfriend as Harry? With his passion and his cute face and beautiful eyes that were always filled so many emotions. 

Peter didn’t ever want to look away from the masterpiece of a man in front of him, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see something quite peculiar. He took his eyes off Harry for a moment to see what it could be.

He sipped the hot cocoa curiously as the waiter brought their food, before nearly choking as he realized who it was. The waiter startled for a moment, as Peter coughed. "Pete, are you okay?" Harry asked, seeming worried. 

Peter coughed. "I-I'm fine just, just swallowed down the wrong tube." He cleared his throat, waving Harry's concern off. "I'm okay, really." 

The waiter smiled and handed him his food, as well as Harry. "Alright then, just wave me over if you have any issues!" The waiter said happily. 

Peter nodded, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Harry, look," Peter said, discreetly pointing to the left. 

Harry followed his finger, only to see Gwen, Anya, and Miles in… carnival glasses and mustaches. "Are… are they trying to…" 

"Yeah, I think so." Peter sighed. 

Harry laughed and facepalmed lightly. "What the hell guys…"

Peter started giggling. "Well if they're gonna follow us around, let's give them more than they bargained for," Peter said, grinning wildly. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry asked, joining in Peter's grin. 

Peter leaned forward to tell Harry his plan. 

~~~

"Can you guys hear what they're saying?" Anya asked, glancing over at the giggling boys. 

"No, I can't." Gwen huffed. 

"It's something about some kind of plan… what they plan to do tonight I think." Miles guessed. 

They watched as they ate, Gwen and Anya snapping a few pictures of them being cute. They were seeing the couple in a rare form so it was only logical to take some pictures.

“You guys know that if they find those pictures they’ll kill you, right?” Miles pointed out.

“We’ll show them these on their wedding day,” Gwen said putting away her phone.

“You already have everything planned for that day, don’t you?” Miles joked and got a glance from Anya. “Wait, you do?”

“It’s so obvious that they’re made for each other! Plus, I won’t be controlling it, that’s their special day. I’ll just be making the slide show.” Gwen said.

Harry intertwined his hand with Peter after paying for the meal, and after Peter trying to pay for his own but Harry wouldn’t let him. “He put the check in front of me so I’ll pay, love bug,” Harry said.

Peter had pouted about that but didn’t argue. “So, where should we head first?” He asked, a devilish grin spreading across his face.

“Somewhere normal first. I wanna get you something.” Harry replied coolly.

“Harry you don’t have to-” Peter began until Harry interrupted him. 

“I want to though. Look, you can’t stop me unless you straight up leave and I know you won’t do that.” Harry teased lightly.

Peter made a face at the taller boy before huffing. “Fine, but nothing too expensive.”

Harry smirked before covering Peter’s eyes with his hands. “You won’t even be seeing the price tag bug.” 

Peter smacked his hands away lightly, before laughing happily. “We’ll see about that.” He teased, kissing his boyfriend on his jawline.

Harry smiled happily, wrapping an arm around Peter’s shoulders. “Let’s continue our date, shall we?”

Peter giggled. “We shall, my prince.”

Harry flushed slightly, before grinning happily. “Let’s be off, my lovebug.” Once Peter and Harry were out of the restaurant, Anya, Gwen, and Miles paid for their meals. They followed after them at a reasonable distance. Enough to give them space, but also being able to hear what they’re talking about.

Their conversation was pretty normal. They talked about their day and shared compliments. That lasted until the got into the store. 

“What should we get first?” Peter asked, glancing behind them and see that their friends were still following them.

"Hmm, let's start normal then just progressively get weirder," Harry whispered. 

Peter nodded. "Alright."

Harry walked around, looking at the shelves aimlessly, before grabbing a small couple's necklace. Peter flushed at the sight before smiling happily. "It's so pretty!" 

Harry chuckled happily. "Alright, I'll get it." Peter smiled happily and kissed his cheek. 

"I really don't deserve you." He murmured. 

"Hah! If you don't deserve me then there's no way in _hell_ I deserve you. You deserve everything and more and I'll be damned if I can't supply it." Harry said, kissing Peter's temple. 

Peter snuggled into Harry's side. "What should be buy now?" He asked softly. 

"Hmm, bandaids and Neosporin. I know you're probably running low." Harry decided. 

Peter nodded. "Kay."

Their friends were in the aisle next to them. Miles had read the sign of the aisle that Peter and Harry were in and he was getting slightly uncomfortable seeing one of the items that was being advertised. 

“Maybe we should go. We saw them do all the things a couple can do.” Miles said awkwardly. 

“No way! We might not be able to experience this again. If they find out they’ll make sure that their dates are very secretive.” Gwen whispered back, moving some of the products to get a slight view of Harry and Peter. She couldn’t be seen by them which was good.

Miles' face was flushed in embarrassment. "Gwen, look at what they're selling in that aisle." He hissed. 

Gwen and Anya peered quietly before Anya yanked Gwen back. "Condoms." She hissed loudly. 

Gwen's eyes widened. "They weren't even looking at them!" She yelped back. 

Anya grabbed Gwen's ear. "We both know what they'll go to after the fact." She hissed. 

Miles pulled both of them backward suddenly, as Peter and Harry stepped out of the aisle. "I'll ask the cashier to ask them what they're planning. You two just...stay here." Miles scowled, face-palming lightly. 

The two others nodded, as Miles tiptoed to the Cashier. "Umm, I have a strange question." 

The man at the register jolted to attention. "Sorry, yeah? What's up?"

"The two boys, can you ask them what they're doing with all the stuff they're buying? It's weird, but we're their friends and our friend can't get her nose out of their business." Miles explained, seeming embarrassed. 

The man laughed. "Of course I can. Yeah, I can ask." 

"Thank you," Miles said, seeming relieved. 

Nearby, Peter was looking through the selection of candies. "Hey, Harry." He called over. 

Harry looked over from the impossibly large selection of M&M's before stepping over. "Yeah? What's up?" 

Peter chuckled. "Miles forgets my hearing is better than his. They're having the cashier ask us what we're doing with our...selection of objects." 

Peter motioned to the basket Harry was holding that now contained the necklaces, bandaids, Neosporin, foundation, two bottles of lube, and lollipops. Harry looked down before laughing. "I have a perfect idea." He promised, an amused look on his face. 

Peter narrowed his eyes. "What're you planning?" He asked. 

Harry smiled. "You'll see. C'mon. We have a couple more stores to hit."

Peter simply nodded as the two stepped to the cash register. The employee standing there recognize them as the ones Miles pointed out. He started to ring up their items, seeing why their friends would want to know what they were doing. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, what exactly are you buying these for?” The cashier asked and Harry smiled. A smile with a slight hint of wickedness Peter noticed. _Oh, this poor innocent soul._

“Slip and slide,” Harry said simply.

The cashier dropped the bandaids, before turning to them. "I'm sorry, repeat that? I must've misheard." He said, laughing awkwardly. 

"We're making a slip and slide," Harry repeated. 

Peter was barely holding back laughter, a few stray snickers escaping. The cashier laughed. "Well damn, that's the last thing I expected! Uh, well okay then. Your total will be $37.62."

"Is there anything in this store that costs 7 cents. It's important for my well being." Harry said. 

Peter burst into laughter, nudging Harry lightly. "Ignore him. He's in a good mood." Peter explained through his laughter. 

The employee laughed happily along with them, as Harry paid. "You two have fun with a slip and slide I guess." He chuckled. 

"Will do!" Harry called, pulling Peter along with the bags. Outside of the store Peter opened the bag with lollipops and took one. 

“So where are we going to make that slip and slide?” Peter joked as he unwrapped the lollipop and then put it in his mouth. The doors to the store opened after they got a few steps away. Their friends’ whispers could be heard ever so slightly behind them. For Harry at least, Peter could hear them just fine. They were questioning the slip and slide concept.

“Definitely not on the stairs. You couldn’t walk straight for a week after you slipped.” Harry said with a devilish grin and received a slight shoulder push from Peter. 

“Should we get anything else? Maybe we could use some lighter fluid this time, spice things up?” Harry asked and wiggled his eyebrows at Peter who let out a laugh.

“How about two boxes?” Peter asked, taking the lollipop out of his mouth so that he wouldn’t spit when he talked. “We’d need to get a lighter too, we broke it last time.” 

“Right. What would I do without you reminding me?” Harry wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulders and kissed the side of his head.

Peter chuckled as the two walked to a nearby Walgreens. The two walked close to each other, chatting happily as they picked out two containers of lighter fluid and a new lighter. Peter hummed softly. "I'll take the lighter once you’re done with it. I use candles so my room doesn't stink. Does a pretty good job." He explained calmly, as he looked for the long lighters. 

Harry nodded. "Alright." He looked around, before stopping. "Wait here, Pete." 

"Mkay," Peter said absentmindedly as he searched the isles. 

Harry searched through the kid’s isle, on a quest to find the plushie he'd seen while walking in. He grinned madly, grabbing the spider plush. It was a fairly large plush, about the size of his forearm. It resembled Scat, Peter's tarantula. He picked it up happily, hid it conspicuously behind his back, then sauntered back over to Peter who had the lighter fluid and had picked out the lighter. "You ready?" Harry asked. 

Peter looked up and nodded. "Yeah." 

The two walked to the register and paid for their things, Peter fawning loudly over the plush Harry bought him. Harry knew that Peter wouldn’t let it be put in the bag with the other stuff, so when the cashier offered them a bag Harry declined and handed Peter the stuffed animal.

Peter instantly squeezed it to his chest with an excited squeal that only Harry heard. They walked out shortly after, Harry holding one of the bags and gasoline while Peter had two bags and his new spider plushie. 

Harry caught a glimpse of Miles walking out of the store, knowing Anya and Gwen were right behind him. Peter must have seen Harry’s eyes looking behind them because he started talking. 

“What do you think about a chainsaw?” Peter asked in a sweet voice as he leaned into Harry. Harry held back a chuckle and nodded.

“That would be lovely,” Harry replied, a laugh trying to escape.

Miles, at this point concerned and confused, looked to Gwen and Anya. “I think we should say something. They’re going to hurt themselves.” 

Gwen shrugged, finally being just as confused. "I'm not goin' up there." Anya snorted, putting her hands up. 

Miles sighed. "As usual, I'm the scapegoat. Alright." He ran forward, catching up to Harry and Peter. 

He grabbed their shoulders, turning them around. "Okay, what the fuck." He said immediately, as Gwen and Anya chased after him. 

"Well hello to you too," Harry replied, barely keeping his composure. 

"Would you kindly explain, what the fuck is happening," Miles questioned flatly. 

Harry hummed nonchalantly, wrapping an arm around Peter, who snuggled in closer. "We're just enjoying our date." He said simply. 

"Yeah, that's not what we mean. Why did you buy all that crap." Anya hissed. 

Harry gave them a look. "You all have been stalking us?" He asked curiously. 

"Not the point, answer the question." Anya snapped. 

Harry put his hands up. "Well if you really wanna know-" 

"And don't say slip and slide. We know that's NOT the case."

"-we get freaky in the bedroom." 

Peter made a noise that sounded like a scream, before burying his face in Harry's side, doing his absolute best to not fall over laughing. 

The color from the others’ faces drained and Peter wheezed. Harry smiled and held Peter closer to him.

“What about the gasoline?” Miles asked, trying to think of a way to get it away from them.

“We got to get rid of the evidence somehow,” Harry replied and Peter started to wonder how he could keep a straight face through all of this.

“And the makeup and bandages?” Miles asked, feeling an uncomfortable air grow amongst him, Gwen, and Anya. Harry looked at Peter and smirked.

“Peter loves getting bite marks but doesn’t like showing them.” He smiled as he watched as Peter’s laughter stopped and his face turned tomato red.

He elbowed Harry hard. "Shut up!" He hissed. 

Harry snickered. "Th-the spider plush?" Miles attempted. 

Harry took a breath to speak, but Peter covered his mouth. "Don't you _dare_ defile Scat in any way, shape, or form." He snapped. 

Harry smacked Peter's hand away. "What, I'm not allowed to get my boyfriend a present because I love him? Come on, guys. I thought you were better than that." 

Peter didn't stop blushing in embarrassment, but simply hid behind the plush. Peter let out a scream that was muffled by his spider plushie. Harry rested his hand on Peter’s head, pulling his head on his shoulder. 

“Do you have any more questions?” Harry asked slyly. Miles exchanged a look with the girls then shook his head. “Good, because Peter here is getting needy.” 

Peter removed the plush from his face. “What-“ but before getting his sentence out, Harry had picked Peter up bridal style and began striding off. “You bitch!” Peter yelled half-heartedly.

Miles, Gwen, and Anya watched in disbelief. "They're totally fucking with us… right?" Anya mumbled. 

"They have to be. They must've noticed we were following them. That's why I said we shouldn’t have, Gwen." Miles hissed. 

Gwen put her hands up in surrender. "Okay okay, I get it. Don't follow people on their date. I won't. But, at least we got some cute pictures." She chirped. 

Miles sighed. _Goddamn, tomorrow's gonna be weird._

~~~

Peter stepped into the doors of Horizon High halfheartedly. He'd much rather have stayed in bed that morning with Harry, but as fate would have it, it was a Thursday. He let out a wistful sigh, and walked into class, sitting down. 

Miles walked soon after him. They shared a slightly awkward silence just staring at each other until Miles took his seat next to him.

The whole class period, they didn’t speak to each other, both of them not really knowing what to say. Miles didn’t want to bring up last night and neither did Peter. The whole school day would have been like that if one of his fellow classmates didn’t come up to him in the last period of the day.

“Hey, you know Peter Parker right?” She asked. Miles took note of the concern on her face.

“Yeah, is there a reason you ask?” He asked.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" She asked, looking thoroughly concerned. 

Miles nodded. "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

"Look, I think Peter's getting bullied. Or at the very least he got attacked." She whimpered. 

Miles' eyes widened. "What?! What makes you think that?"

"During the 5th block, he took off his jacket, because you know it's always hot in Mr. Hatcher’s class, and I saw a bruise on his shoulder. And his shirt mostly covered it up, but I think there was a bandage there too…" The girl whimpered. 

Miles froze, feeling his face pale. _Oh god, they weren't joking-_ "Can you just make sure he's okay?" 

Miles swallowed thickly. "Uhh, ahem, yeah. I can- I can do that.. yeah." He shifted uncomfortably, before sighing. "I can totally do that…" 

“Okay, thanks.” She said kindly. As she walked away, all Miles could think was, _why me?_

Miles walked down the halls, knowing that Peter had his last period off like him. He stood outside his door, wondering if he should ask. His curiosity got the best of him and he knocked.

Peter opened the door and saw Miles standing there looking uncomfortable. “What’s up?” He asked, moving so that Miles could come in. Miles took a deep breath.

“A girl saw bruises and a bandage on you your arm and neck area and she wanted me to check up on you,” Miles said, an awkward aura filling the room. “Did you guys really do all that stuff you said last night?”

Peter's face immediately turned bright red, before he nearly screamed, "WHAT?!"

Peter made a squealing noise, obviously panicking, before pacing around the room. Finally, he turned to Miles. "No. We were just screwing around with you guys yesterday for intruding on our date. But Harry's logic was that we have all the stuff.. so why don't we just...you know. WE DIDN'T USE FIRE OR ANYTHING JUST-" Before Peter could finish, Miles was wheezing with laughter. 

"Oh- oh god I can't-" He laughed ridiculously. 

"Shut up!" Peter shouted, feeling his face heat up with even more embarrassment. 

Before Miles could continue to poke fun, there was a knock, and the door opened. Only to reveal none other than Harry Osborn, sporting more than a few hickeys and a bite or two. "Oh, hey Miles." Miles let out a scream-like laugh and was on the floor wheezing in no time. 

Harry took in Peter’s flustered face and started to things together pretty quickly. A smile grew across his face and Peter looked away from him.

“Were you showing off the new accessories I gave you last night?” Harry asked, making his way over to his blushing boyfriend.

“No! It got hot and I had to take my jacket off. I didn’t know someone saw until this asshole-“ He motioned to Miles on the ground, who was still wheezing, “came and told me. I thought I hid them well.” Peter mumbled, crossing his arms.

“Why would you want to hide them? You were practically begging for them. If I remember correctly, which I do, you said-“ Peter slapped a hand over Harry’s mouth. 

Miles was laughing insanely hard, though somehow he looked uncomfortable at the same time. "In short, it got loud." 

Peter stood up immediately, and began walking towards the door shouting, "I DON'T NEED THIS KIND OF NEGATIVITY IN MY LIFE."

"DON'T WORRY, WE HAVE SOUNDPROOF WALLS, NOBODY HEARD ANYTHING!" Harry called after him. 

Peter immediately stopped, turned, and threw his book bag at Harry, hitting him square in the face, and nearly knocking him over, as Harry shouted in alarm. "YOU AREN'T COMING OVER FOR A WEEK UNLESS IT'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY _HAROLD._ " Peter spat. 

Harry made a strangled yelp of alarm and Miles made a horrified face. "H-how often do you guys have sex?!" He yelped looking thoroughly alarmed. 

Peter gave Miles an angry and embarrassed look as Miles nearly started crying with confusion. Just then, the door opened once more, and Anya, followed by Gwen stepped in. "We heard screaming- is everyone oka-" Anya stopped mid-sentence to see the sight in front of her. 

Gwen had put things together pretty quickly and started laughing slightly while Anya understood what was going on but also didn’t. Miles was now trying to form a question or anything, but couldn’t through his wheezing. 

"How- how often do- do you.. what- I- I literally can't- how-" Miles babbled incoherently. 

"Let's just say Peter's spider-powers keep him forever tight," Harry said calmly. 

Peter's face turned bright red, before he screeched, "IT'S A FUCKING MONTH OSBORN." Before proceeding to sprint out of the room red-faced. 

Miles stood up, turned around, and stepped into a corner. "I regret my choices. WHY DID I GO WITH YOU GWEN. WHYYY." He wailed pitifully. 

Through the awkward silence, Anya spoke. "So… does he go through heat?"

“No, but he’s very needy,” Harry said smirking. 

“Guys what the fuck!” Miles cried on the floor. “It’s like you’re talking about my brother! And how are so calm? Peter just said that you couldn’t go over to his house for a month!” 

“Peter wouldn’t be able to go for a month without me at his house. He likes to cuddle with me on the weekends.” Harry replied simply.

“That’s probably the most innocent thing I’ve heard about Peter today,” Miles said, curling back up on the floor. “He’ll never be innocent in my eyes again, though.” Gwen and Anya nodded. 

“He’s still innocent compared to me,” Harry said, picking up Peter’s bag and leaving to give it back to him.

“WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?” Miles wailed.


End file.
